Fashion

"Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening,"
Coco Chanel

The other night I put on a dress, quite possibly, the most beautiful dress I’ve ever owned, and for a rare evening, I felt glamorous. It is funny that fabric and thread can do that for a person. But what it can’t do, what you have to do for yourself, is decide to possess inner confidence, to believe in yourself, your worth, your future, and strut toward it with the confidence of a girl in those high heels and satin. I think I’ve always held a good grasp on that inner confidence. What I struggle with, is my confidence in the outer. It can’t be dismissed completely. It is important to feel like you look good, but so many people do get caught up. That becomes the sole factor in one’s entire focus or mood, me included on many days. We need to realize that we are simply blessed to be alive, to breathe air into our lungs and gaze at the stars. The other night, I was lucky to be surrounded by wonderful friends at a wedding. We were in a vineyard reminiscent of Italy but it glowed under an immense Oklahoma night sky. We laughed and caught up and I tried to savor the moment and be happy. We are given such a gift to be here, to be alive. Underneath the glitz and glamour or even mundane and everyday, of moments or places, is what is truly important, the relationships and the life we are gifted. We need to keep focused on what matters, and it’s not how we’re dressed or they way we look. What matters are our goals, our determination, and most of all, our hearts. The other night was a testament to that. I am so thankful for what and more importantly, who, I’ve been given. It was just a bonus to feel pretty in a blue dress.

Bonfire

“When you do something, you should burn yourself up completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself,”
-Shunryu Suzuki

Throughout the summer my friends and I started to have bonfire parties out in my pasture. They were usually full of crazy antics and held a sense of freedom from a populated and hectic life. Most of my friends don’t get the chance to just be in nature and spend time with grass at their feet and the moon shining down (or even an exhilarating rain, as we once had at one of the parties). These parties served a stereotypical sense of debauchery but they also solidified the feeling of being young and I am often reminded of how fleeting this feeling can be. Though, summer is especially good at bringing them to the surface. We’re having one this coming weekend to ring in fall and I think it will be good to be together and relish in the disappearing warmth. I also hope that the people who come take a moment to savor the environment and this time in their lives. We’re young and we have so much potential. We are incredibly lucky and to have this time together is a gift. We need to be strong and full of purpose in our actions. I want to have a life that is continuous in seeking purpose and I want to drink life in with a clear mind and an open heart. I hope I always remember these times as well. I hope to think on them fondly in the winter and then the following years of my life. I want to be in the moment and savor it. I hope I always try to take the time to do that and be cognizant of how to live fully and warmly like a fire burning bright and with a strong fury, under the expanse of stars on a summer night…

Fall

"Then summer fades and passes and October comes. We'll smell smoke then,
and feel an unexpected sharpness, a thrill of nervousness, swift elation, a
sense of sadness and departure."
- Thomas Wolfe

So, on this, the first official day of Fall, I feel it necessary to acknowledge its arrival in an attempt to be gracious. Fall is bittersweet for me in many ways. The weather is near perfect, the colors are beautiful and opportunities in adventure abound. All of this speaks directly to my soul and is, or at least should be, invigorating, but still, fall and I are often at odds with one another. I suppose it may have begun innately, as a child who relished in summer vacations, school always returned along with fall, and so too did it signify winter approaching. As someone who has grown up caring for horses, Winter has always been tough. If you've ever had to fill up water buckets in your bathtub because your outside faucet is frozen, you'll know the pains that winter brings....If you live in Oklahoma where we get more ice than snow and fear cabin fever and being stuck inside your house like I do, you will also understand...So fall has always carried a sense of foreboding, of a downward spiral into Winter, but I suppose my real fear of this season began years ago with a few unfortunate times in my life that seemed to coincide with fall and then winter..... Then the most heartbreaking was the loss of my mother in December of 2006. From that point on, this time of year held the heartbreak that summer has been increasingly therapeutic for. I know that each fall is getting better but there will always be that fear. I am seeking to balance it with the joy brought to me by beautiful weather. I am being proactive about filing my time with adventure so that I may carry the possibility of summer into the cold months. It is a matter of preservation...

Journalist

~ I became a journalist to come as close as possible to the heart of the world. ~
Henry R. Luce


I always Knew I wanted to write and I wanted to leave the world a better place. Then I decided to fuse those two ideas and become a journalist. I believe everyone has a story and that the world is a beautiful place, even amidst the heartbreak. I want to show people this beauty and tell these stories. For everyone, but primarily, for those that can't speak for themselves. They are our true charge and responsibility as journalists. The voiceless need the world to be aware. People must have access to what is going on outside of individual spheres of influence in order to understand situations on the other side of the world, and then to take that awareness and act upon it. that is the most important thing; act upon what you know and use your own talents to affect positive change. If that is writing or math or people skills or art. No matter, use it and find a way to do what you love and to leave the world a better place.
I have been inspired by many amazing people in my career. One of the most influential is Dan Eldon, he was a photojournalist killed in Somalia in the early 90s and his work did amazing things to bring awareness to the situation going on there. He was killed at the age of 22 but his life story continues to inspire people to use this idea of creative activism and personal ability to change the world. He made me want to be a journalist and make use of my love of writing the way he did of his photography. His untimely death reminds us all to live fully and with purpose. Do what we love and love others. Make your life one that reflects the beauty of the world. I hope I can help show that to the world.

Horses

"The wind of Heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears." -Arabian Proverb

Horses have always meant freedom to me. As a kid I was lucky enough to get my first horse and have been enraptured by them ever since. There is something unexplainable about a girl's bond with a horse. It is that perfect meeting between strength and grace. To know a horse is to know what is wild and beautiful in ourselves. Their every movement is poetry and there is something to be said for the way they can transport a mere mortal into a flying vessel of perfection. if you have ever smelled a horse's smooth coat on a summer evening or ridden astride one in a thrilling competition, or wrapped your arms around their long slender necks and pressed your face in their course yet silky manes, then you know the power of a horse. I firmly believe they are our link to sheer abandon and that to have a horse in your life, you are given a rare gift of strength and opportunity. As a child, a horse became that opportunity to me. They taught me to be brave and to take chances. They helped me to be strong and free. My two horses are a huge part of my life. My horse Harley saw me through most of my childhood, from age 11 to now that I am grown. She is getting on in her years but still as beautiful as ever. My horse Coaltrain is 10 years old and I've had him since he was a baby. He is unpredictable and a handful but he has a deeply connected ability to love. He is immensely attached to Harley and myself and the two of them make me incredibly happy. I cherish looking out my backdoor and seeing them grazing in the field. I am reminded of my childhood and I am reminded of possibility and what it feels like to be free all because they are in my life.

Travel

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."
-Mark Twain

There is nothing I love more than to travel. The simple act of going somewhere new equates itself to possibility for me. I love not knowing what I will find around the corner or who I will meet, and meeting people is the best part. To meet people, I wholeheartedly recommend youth hostels. Forget the horror film connotations and stay in one; in Europe in particular, and you will meet people from all over the world. I still have friends I've met from my stays in hostels. I may discuss travel a lot in future blogs, because I feel there is no better way to celebrate the magnificent gift we've been given of this earth than to relish every place we can. Drink it in.
The first time I went to Europe (and I'll be the first to say I have so much more travel I want to do and in no way am I a seasoned explorer) but the first time I went was Greece in 2008. I went with my sister and we arrived in Athens to a hot, crowded but still unbelievably historic place. Even the soil held resonance when I imagined that underneath the archeological layers of earth, there were entire lives led and cities constructed. I felt invigorated by being overseas. We traveled on to the awe inducing island of Santorini and then to the tropical vibe of Crete. I learned perhaps for the first time, just how big the world really is. I was reminded about how small it can be too when I mentioned to a stranger on a bus about my experience with a non profit called Invisible Children and a woman a few rows up turned around and asked me if I knew a girl who in fact had been one of my good friends and roommates. Crazy how people can connect. The world is limitless in the things we can experience if we are open to GO.

Change

"When you are through changing, you are through." ~Bruce Barton

When people think of change, many get stuck on the magnitude of the problem or situation. I've learned that change is almost invisible while it is occurring, only obvious once it has happened. When I think of the changes I see in myself, most of the time, I never realized they were happening. They just did. That doesn't mean I didn't set out to change, work hard and apply myself. Anyone who has ever dieted or began a workout regime will identify with this. But even in those surface changes attempted, a deeper change is at work inside. This refers to one's mindset, how they view their routine, their habits and even their possibilities. They begin a steady transformation but usually don't notice the results. Then one day, they are different. This doesn't just allude to health and fitness, which I admit I am currently at work to alter, this is true for all of life. Growing up is change in perhaps it's most gradual form. The baby becomes the child, the child becomes the teen and the teen becomes the adult. Change never stops. It is essential that it never stop. Life and this earth are in constant transformation.
To accept that the world has heartbreaking realities does not negate the responsibility we all have to attempt change. No, there may not be some cataclysmic alteration. Peace may never be worldwide, but it is imperative to work toward that change. If there is injustice or hurt somewhere then it must be addressed. We may not recognize the monumental things happening on a day to day scale but the beauty is in the efforts toward that change. It is in the silent way you touch someone's life and perhaps more unexpected; the way you impact your own. Do not be dissuaded by the immensity of our world's problems. Set out to change what you can. This may be in your home, your town, your country or on the other side of the world. No matter where, it will also be in yourself that the greatest change happens.