Fall

"Then summer fades and passes and October comes. We'll smell smoke then,
and feel an unexpected sharpness, a thrill of nervousness, swift elation, a
sense of sadness and departure."
- Thomas Wolfe

So, on this, the first official day of Fall, I feel it necessary to acknowledge its arrival in an attempt to be gracious. Fall is bittersweet for me in many ways. The weather is near perfect, the colors are beautiful and opportunities in adventure abound. All of this speaks directly to my soul and is, or at least should be, invigorating, but still, fall and I are often at odds with one another. I suppose it may have begun innately, as a child who relished in summer vacations, school always returned along with fall, and so too did it signify winter approaching. As someone who has grown up caring for horses, Winter has always been tough. If you've ever had to fill up water buckets in your bathtub because your outside faucet is frozen, you'll know the pains that winter brings....If you live in Oklahoma where we get more ice than snow and fear cabin fever and being stuck inside your house like I do, you will also understand...So fall has always carried a sense of foreboding, of a downward spiral into Winter, but I suppose my real fear of this season began years ago with a few unfortunate times in my life that seemed to coincide with fall and then winter..... Then the most heartbreaking was the loss of my mother in December of 2006. From that point on, this time of year held the heartbreak that summer has been increasingly therapeutic for. I know that each fall is getting better but there will always be that fear. I am seeking to balance it with the joy brought to me by beautiful weather. I am being proactive about filing my time with adventure so that I may carry the possibility of summer into the cold months. It is a matter of preservation...