Sadness

"It is such a secret place, the land of tears."
-The Little Prince


Sadness… I think we all know a little too much about sadness. In its universal ability to affect us, it is still very unique to the individual. Grief, in particular, is a deep ravine where no one can anticipate how they will handle the terrain.
For me, the death of my mother has been an unmerciful teacher in the lessons of sadness. Every sadness since her absence has balled itself back into that one cold, hard truth of my life. She’s gone and it is often unbearable.
I have this silent fear that despite all I’ve been blessed with, and no matter how good life can (and does), become, I will always find it to be just unsuccessful attempts to assuage her loss.
That being said however; is just an aspect of this journey that I’m on, that we’re all on. Deep down, I do know how beautiful life is and I know how lucky I am. It takes effort and time, but more and more, I am seeing that the good things are not attempts of atonement but rather, proof of how strong love is. No matter how fleeting time can be, love will continue ever strong. My mother is there in everything that I do and all that I become. She is the strength I have and the work ethic. She is the mind and the stability. She is the determination. I owe so much to her and as hard as it is for her to be gone, I know she has given me so much so that I may live my life and succeed. .
Yes, sadness invades a great deal of my emotions. It used to be constant and expected, but now it has evolved into using guerilla warfare and showing up in rushed surprise assault. I don’t exactly know which is worse but I do know that I am learning how to fight back.